Letting Go
by NikkiB1973
Summary: A little drabble set at the end of Eclipse AU. I was challenged to write a sympathetic portrayal of Edward and this is all I could manage. It's hard letting go, even for a vampire...


**Letting Go**

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

_**A/N- a little drabble set at end of Eclipse AU.**_

Edward held Bella in his arms as she sobbed throughout the night. She was inconsolable. He had expected her to be upset, but not to this degree. She had driven back in her truck after saying goodbye to Jacob for the last time. He had met her at the treaty line, dismayed at the way she was driving. She could have hurt herself. She had been barely watching the road, her body hunched over the wheel as she drove. He had swiftly intervened, opening the driver's door and gently sliding her over to the passenger side so he could drive. Bella had seemed hardly aware of his presence as she curled up into a ball and continued to cry all the way back to Forks.

He had slipped into her room to wait for her as he listened to her telling Charlie about her visit. Her father had sympathized with her, telling her to go up to her room and rest. Bella had taken his advice and slowly climbed the stairs, her whole body shaking as she wept. Edward had hoped that as the hours passed her tears would lessen, but if anything they increased. He didn't think Bella had anything left to pour out of her eyes, but the tears continued to flow unabated. Her eyes were red and sore, her whole body trembling as she grieved. This wasn't right, even he with his long dead heart, could see this wasn't normal grieving for a lost love.

Edward held her as she shuddered, her gentle voice once again apologizing for her tears. "I'm sorry, E...Edward."

"Are you sure this is what you want, Bella?" He asked her for the hundredth time. "Surely it shouldn't be this hard to say goodbye to Jacob. I can't bear to see you like this."

"I am sure." Bella choked out. "I made my choice."

"You are allowed to change your mind, my love." Edward closed his eyes, his whole being filled with agony as he said the words. "If you love the wolf boy and it is tearing you apart this much then maybe..."

"I made my choice." Bella said again, her voice sounding weaker. "I made it."

Edward gave a mournful sigh as he held her a few inches away from his body, the cold from his skin was making her shiver. Instead he pulled her comforter around her and tucked it in tight to her body. "Try and sleep my love." He murmured.

Bella sobbed again for a moment as she closed her eyes. The tears continued to spill from under her closed lids making Edward wince. Eventually she succumbed to sleep, worn out from her incessant crying. Edward retreated to the rocking chair and watched her breath in and out; occasionally she would move about restlessly uttering his name, then Jacob's. It hurt him as he counted the number of times she said his name compared to Jacob's. He was definitely lagging behind.

He sat there until the sun rose in the sky and night turned into day. When the clock struck ten Bella finally woke, her tired eyes roaming the room for him as she sat up in the bed. "Edward." She breathed. "You're here."

"I'm here." Edward echoed her. He watched her intently as a faint red flush coated her cheeks. She had absolutely no idea how beautiful she was or how much he really loved her. He loved her enough to let her go. He saw her eyes drop to her hands as they twisted in her lap. He already knew what she was going to say. He waited patiently until she was ready to break him in two.

"I can't leave him, Edward. I'm sorry. I can't let go." Bella sobbed again, her long hair framing her distraught face as she finally admitted the truth to herself and to him.

Edward got up from the rocking chair and came to sit beside her on the bed. He reached out and stroked her hair softly. "Please don't cry over this, Bella. I always knew deep inside we were on borrowed time. I could see how much you loved Jacob Black. I tried to convince myself it wasn't true but after you shared that kiss with him, it was undeniable. You never kissed me like that."

Bella sobbed again, placing her hands over her face. "I'm so sorry." She said brokenly.

"Don't be sorry my love. This was how it was always meant to be." Edward gave her a heartbreaking smile as he continued to comfort her. They sat side by side in silence for a while as they both came to terms with what this meant for both of them.

* * *

"Will I ever see you again, Edward?" Bella asked him softly as he parked his car near the treaty line.

Edward shook his head as he gazed at her lovingly. "No. My family and I will leave Forks by tonight. You can assure the pack that we will not venture to live here again."

"Will you write to me?" Bella begged him. "At least to let me know how you are."

Edward touched her cheek gently with his finger, letting it trail down her soft skin. "If you wish." He said, still unable to deny her anything.

Bella gazed at him sadly before leaning in and placing her lips over his. He froze for a moment, savoring her human warmth one last time before he had to pull away. "I will always have a place for you in my heart." She whispered.

"And I will always love you." Edward smiled at her, gently tracing his finger over her lips.

"Goodbye Edward." Bella said firmly as she began to climb out of the car.

"Goodbye my Bella." Edward replied, keeping his voice calm, even though he was falling apart inside. He needed her to think he was coping.

Bella looked at him one last time before she began to walk away. He watched her until she disappeared around a bend in the road. Only then did he give in to his despair.

* * *

Jacob was lying on his bed, still drugged up from the strong medication that Carlisle had given him. He liked the numb feeling it gave him. It stopped him having to think about how empty his future now was. The wounds on his body had finally begun to heal and it was only his ribs and his leg that were giving him pain. He discounted his heart. He heard his dad answer the door and groaned. He didn't want visitors. He just wanted to be left alone to grieve. The door to his room opened and Billy poked his head round.

"You have a visitor." He said wryly.

Jacob caught the hint of a smile on his dad's face. "Who is it?" He demanded.

Billy just winked at him. "Go right in." He said to the visitor.

Jacob watched as Bella slowly sidled into the room. His eyes opened wide in shock. Were the meds making him hallucinate? His eyes followed her as she came over to the bed and knelt down next to him. She looked exhausted, there were dark rings underscoring her eyes and they were red rimmed from crying.

"You were right and I was wrong." Bella whispered.

"What was I right about?" Jacob said hoarsely, not believing that she was really in his room.

"About where my future lies." Bella confessed. "I couldn't stop crying Jake. It felt like I was dying inside. I'm sorry. Please forgive me and give me another chance." She begged him.

Jacob smiled lazily at her, convinced now that he was definitely having some weird dream. "I don't need to forgive you. I love you." He said simply.

Bella sobbed with relief as she climbed on the bed beside him and accidentally elbowed him in the ribs. Jacob cried out in pain, now certain that this was real. Bella began to apologize but he stopped her flow of words with a kiss. " Shut up honey and just let me hold you." He wheezed.

He heard her giggle as she settled next to him and let him put his good arm around her. "What made you realise the truth?" He asked her.

Bella sighed softly as she touched his face reverently. "When I left you I couldn't stop crying. I thought I was grieving for our lost friendship, but when I was sleeping it dawned on me that I wasn't crying over you. I was crying over the fact that I had to let Edward go. I was grieving for him."

Jacob kissed her again, soothed by her words. He could tell she was speaking the truth. "How did he take it?"

"He knew it was coming." Bella admitted. "He was too kind and comforted me. He then drove me here."

"Maybe the bloodsucker is not so bad after all." Jacob said grudgingly.

"I always told you that." Bella lay her head on his chest and closed her eyes. For the first time in ages she felt warm and at peace. Jacob smiled and closed his own eyes. They were soon asleep.

* * *

Edward handed his ticket to the air stewardess. She smiled at the handsome young man. "Have a good flight sir."

"Thank you." Edward returned her smile.

"Do you have family in Italy?" The stewardess asked with interest.

Edward shook his head. "No."

"Oh, is it a holiday then?"

"No." Edward said again, flashing her his heartbreaking smile. "I won't ever be coming back."

_**A/N-thanks for reading!**_


End file.
